I'm Bad

I know you think I'm a good dog, most people do get that impression just looking at me. But over the weekend, while watching some losers circle the yard endlessly on bicycles, something in me snapped. It's great to chase bikes, and after a few spins around the yard, I just kept going. He went down the road, and I saw my opportunity and went for it. Springing lithely away from my owner, I jetted -- up and out, down the street. It was amazing. I dodged everything, the cars, the people grabbing for me. There was nothing that could stop me. Of course, I was eventually reeled in, and carried home in disgrace. But man was it good, that brief freedom.

Now, I've taken up being a shoe chewer. Furniture is good too. I stole a toy elephant from the neighbor girl (my how compellingly she shrieks) and ate the eyes off one by one, swallowing those little plastic gems before anyone could stop me. I'm unstoppably bad and naughty. I ate the cracked corners of some flooring, but then someone put hot sauce on it, yukky.

I need to get out more.